Saturday, February 16, 2013

Abe Won't Come to Park's Inauguration

Abe denied chance to use ninja skills
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has decided not to attend president-elect Park Geun-hye's inauguration on February 25, Japanese media have reported. Kyodo News said Abe will not come to Korea because he has not been invited, but this hasn't stopped the Japanese coming to Korea uninvited before so the decision is being widely interpreted as a snub in Seoul, and possibly the prelude to an attack.

An official close to Park said that while no foreign leaders were on the list of invited guests "We cannot stop foreign leaders attending if they want to", and there was hope the Japanese samurai descendent would thus gatecrash the inauguration providing a valid pretext for a military response to this invasion.

But sources close to the once military-led government in Tokyo have suggested the war-criminal sympathizing Abe has refused to attend as a national leader as doing so would lend legitimacy to Korea's claim to be a nation rather than a rogue province, as Japan has categorized since Korea announced it was seceding from the union in 1945.

Abe has long been suspected of favoring military action to restore the union, even though the legal case for this is far from clear under Japan's constitution. Possibly because of this, Abe has sought to partly portray the case for military action in terms of emancipating the millions of slaves still working in Korea's factories and elsewhere for chaebol owners. Conversely, Japan began a process of freeing its slaves twenty years ago at the beginning of the 1990s, in a move which was widely derided in Korea and which unsurprisingly quickly led to the terminal decline of Japan's economy and the rise of Korea's over it.

Prominent Koreans have long been fiercely protective of their rights to own slaves. "There is clearly a difference between the enslavement of Koreans and foreigners by Koreans, and the outrageous enslavement of Koreans by foreigners" said 57 year-old Massa Kim, who runs the "Blue House" hostess bar in Seoul and asked us not to reveal his real name. Like many slave owners, Kim rejects the idea that 'migrant workers' imported from barbaric countries and financially disabled 'Koreans without money' should be entitled to equal rights with civilized people.

Abe's vicious and unprovoked decision not to come will nevertheless be met with some relief in Seoul political circles, as last time Japanese people sneaked into the country to meet with a female leader it was to kill and rape her, in that order - although today, many believe the killing of Queen Min to have been some kind of spontaneous assault by a bunch of ignorant Japanese thugs, not a conspiracy carefully planned in Tokyo and Harvard.

Even if an assassination wasn't planned this time, there had been fears that the sight of Abe next to Park might evoke memories of Japan's use of Korean women as sex slaves, or "comfort women" as they were once euphemistically named. Park – Korea's first openly female president – was considered highly unlikely to have reciprocated any advanced from Abe, even though she has inexplicably sought to take a more conciliatory line recently with Korea's aggressive and duplicitous neighbor.

The lack of enthusiasm by Abe for Park appears to have soured relations between Seoul and Tokyo, and the Defense Ministry in Seoul is believed to have instructed naval forces around Dokdo to be prepared for a sneak attack by Japan like the one that devastated Pearl Harbor during Japan's last period of attempted colonial expansion.

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